I have found myself thinking back to the days that my life was more simple. I'm not going to start a long blog like David Copperfield, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...." BLECH! Nope, I'm just thinking about how things used to be. Suddenly I realize that life is always complicated. There was never a time when it was simple. Not really. What prompted this thought? I was listening to NPR, when suddenly it shuts off, and Melody Gardot's song "Sweet Memory" came on. I thought, "What the frig?!" Then the thoughts came. When I was little, we lived in NM. At first we were in town, on the Carlsbad highway. I remember the small trailer house we lived in. We lived on the corner to the entrance of the trailer park, just off the highway. Across the highway was one of the bowling alley's and the Moose Lodge that my Great Uncle Jim belonged too. Next door to us was Gus and Byra Backus. My "godparents." He was part of the group The Del Vikings back in the 50s. They did the song "Come Go With Me." It's funny how alcohol and wars can take you from stardom, to living in a trailer park in South Eastern New Mexico. Gus and Byra were so much fun. Byra and I had our differences, but we were both strong willed creatures. lol When we moved to Seminole, TX, Gus and Byra were contacted by an entertainment company in Germany. Now, what I've failed to mention here, is that when Gus was in the war, he was sent to Germany. While there, he married, and started a huge singing and acting career. I never knew just how big he really was until I ran across some videos of him on Youtube, and other websites. Gus was voted the one star of yesterday that people wanted to bring back - in Germany. So, they found him NM. He and Byra moved to Germany most of the year, did appearances, traveled, did tours, etc... The rest of the year came back to the US and lived in a travel trailer to be near their kids. I remember sitting in his lap, at his piano, and him wildly playing whatever song came to mind, singing, and thrashing me around. I loved him to much. He was my favorite playmate. LOL Gus has always been bigger than life. When I found the sites about him on the internet, I had one of them translated. It said Byra had died of complications of diabetes. She'd had it as long as I can remember. Gus is remarried to his first love now. I hope he's happy. We all miss them.

Isn't it funny how a song triggers memories? It doesn't mean that it has a lot of meaning to you though. I know people who claim that almost every song known to man has some sort of special meaning to them. It almost negates the meaning of the song it self, or even what it means to *you/me.* On the other hand, it is a great gift that someone has given others that can carry such meaning. Maybe I'm just petty. LOL The choice of songs that people make to have significant meaning to them is fascinating as well. It doesn't have to be some dramatic, earth shattering, epic song. Personally, the Oak Ridge Boys song "Elvira" has way more meaning to me than Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On." My mother used to sing "Elvira" to me and do the really deep bass parts. It was hilarious! I don't want to hear you heart go on and on and on and on and on....... However, when someone says to me, "When you meet someone that is your soul mate, you will understand the song more." WTF?! I understand the song fine! Even if I were to meet my soulmate, I don't think that my choice in annoying songs would change. We change when we meet people, but not THAT drastically! LOL Maybe I'm naieve. Or Maybe I'm right.

Speaking of music.....
Right now, I have two favorite songs: "Wasted" and "So Small" by Carried Underwood. "Wasted" is plain and straight forward. Let's take a look at it.....


Standing at the back door
She tried to make it fast
One tear hit the hard wood
It fell like broken glass
She said sometimes love slips away
And you just can't get it back
Let's face it

For one split second
She almost turned around
But that would be like pouring rain drops
Back into a cloud
So she took another step and said
I see the way out and I'm gonna' take it

I don't wanna' spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted

Another glass of whisky but it still don't kill the pain
So he stumbles to the sink and pours it down the drain
He says it's time to be a man and stop living for yesterday
Gotta face it.

Cause' I don't wanna' spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted

Oh I don't wanna' keep on wishing, missing
The still of the morning, the color of the night
I ain't spending no more time
Wasted

She kept drivin' along
Till the moon and the sun were floating side-by-side
He looked in the mirror and his eyes were clear
For the first time in a while

Hey, yeah,
Oh, I don't wanna' spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted

Oh I don't wanna' keep on wishing, missing
The still of the morning, the color of the night
I ain't spending no more time
Wasted

Oh, I don't wanna' spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted

Yeah, yeah
Oh I don't wanna' keep on wishing, missing
The still of the morning, the color of the night
I ain't spending no more time
Wasted

What more is there to say? I just know when I first heard this song, and really listened to it, I decided that no matter what my pain is like, I cannot let time be wasted any longer. This HAS meaning to me. Not every song on the radio. LOL

"So Small" talks about something I'm always having to remind people about. It is about how I try to live my life. Although, I can/do fall prey to the occasional panic or stressfilled outburst, I try to live with the knowledge that in the greater scheme of things, *it's* just not that big.

Yeah, Yeah

[Verse 1]
What you got if you ain't got love
the kind that you just want to give away
It's okay to open up
go ahead and let the light shine through
I know it's hard on a rainy day
you want to shut the world out and just be left alone
But don't run out on your faith

[Chorus]
'Cause sometimes that mountain you've been climbing is just a grain of sand
What you've been up there searching for
forever is in your hands
When you figure out love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
seem so small

[Verse 2]
It's so easy to get lost inside
a problem that seems so big at the time
it's like a river thats so wide
it swallows you whole
While you sit around thinking about what you can't change
and worrying about all the wrong things
time's flying by
moving so fast
you better make it count 'cause you can't get it back

[Chorus]
Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing is just a grain of sand
What you've been up there searching for
forever is in your hands
When you figure out love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
Seem so small

Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing is just a grain of sand
What you've been up there searching for
forever is in your hands
When you figure out love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
Oh it sure makes everything else
Seem so small

Yeah, Yeah

A lesson we should all learn....